year in review

'cause why the hell not? Soon I'll have to get used to writing 2013 on my papers.

I can tell this is going to be quite the wall of text.

I'll start off with some more recent thoughts, and see how far back I'm able to stretch my memory. Early 2012? It feels like it's been years! I'll leave out talk on my little platformer project, since it seems that it's all I talk about nowadays on this blog.

Past week or so in review:

First off, it's winter break! I've been pushing myself to at always learn/accomplish at least one thing each day during the break (which, I guess, could be extended into the next school months). I feel really empty if I go through a day and I'm able to recall anything significant about it at the end of it. Even if it's just learning how to change colors for text in HTML.

Speaking of HTML, I am still filling myself in on the basics. Before, I literally had no idea what it even was, so my sister (a Tumblr power user) laughed at me for not knowing some of this stuff. Plz woman. Watch me.

I want to reach a level when I can understand/implement HTML5, including it's canvas function, very proficiently. I have a many trippy ideas on e-portfolio layouts some on canvas+Javascript, so that would be my drive to learn more and improve each day. Right now I can form fancy colored blocks of text, but I gotta start somewhere.

Academics? All I can say is meh. I probably could have done a lot better, but I am unable to feel terrible about it. Just like how I've been all my life. I remember far back when I was in elementary school, I was absolutely terrified to bring home my report card to my dad. One time I just left it on my table and went home, but I got some serious shit from him and had to go back and get it. Then I proceeded to get some serious shit from him afterwards. Me and my siblings probably all went through some terrible punishment that day. Gosh, childhood memories.

My end goal is not to get amazing marks for the sake of it. I want to be employable. I want to maintain my passion for this field. I want to be able to earn my own money, build my own life, help out my parents... I want to absorb practical skills in the field of computer science like a sponge, understand everything there is here. I want experience. I want to DO things. Grades are an indicator of how well I understand them, but past a certain level they don't really matter to me.

Sound like an excuse for less-than-ideal grades? Haha, maybe. Even so, these points stand.

Past semester in review:

It was alright, I guess. Definitely not as cool/exciting as my first year at UBC, even less so considering that I'm a commuter living on the far side of Richmond. 1.5 hour commutes (just over 1 on a good day), plz.

I was surprised by how few people from computer science I met. In 110, less than a fifth of the students seemed to me cpsc majors (according of a hand-raise poll done by the prof). I don't know why I sat where I did, but oh my goodness those girls were ridiculously bad at this stuff. Interestingly, my white friend who sat beside me did very well in the course, and he's a medieval history major of all things!

In 121, well I met a few people from the labs, but that's about it. Heard Caro talk about some weird ass things up in front row. Saw Scott's catgirl wallpapers. Smelled a brown guy's feet. Saw Tsiknis's armpit sweat stains. Was unable to ogle at anybody in the first row.

I did meet a compsci girl in math though. V was interesting girl to talk to (only white girl I personally know in compsci), but I have no intent nor reason to see her again afterwards. People come and go, nothing new here. Unfortunately, it doesn't get much better for next semester with my only cpsc course being 210, but maybe I'll find a lot of math majors to talk to! 215 + 220, here I come.

Past year in review:

I don't remember much. I did a few things here and there, met some people, fooled around a bit, tried to do things, felt happy, felt sad, felt excited... gosh, was I 18 back then? Feels like I've been walking into porn shops and blowing my money on alcohol for ages! notsrs

maybesrs?

Next year:

I've been making progress in making realistic new years resolutions. I'm not sure what they were last year, but I know that I accomplished those a heck of a lot better than the previous ones.

I wanted to be ahead of my courses this (last?) semester, but I was always way too far ahead, or a bit behind. The obvious solution is to moderate it. Stop reading so damn far ahead. It helps with nothing. I'd rather I spend that time biking or doing some form of cardio. One chapter ahead for each week is good enough. Focus on doing the actual problems a a bit more. As it always has been, consistency is key.

Do something on campus. I tend to rush home right after class so that I can get back by dinner, but according to my schedule I'll either be early or too late for a nice home meal. I should find something to do on those early days. Find a club to join? Take over Ben's dorm and make fun of his lifestyle? Visit my commerce friends' massive on-campus home and fully embrace the no-study-and-game-all-day lifestyle? Enlarge my project group to 3 members and meet up more frequently? I could probably make one of these work.

Always progress in my personal projects. I can imagine that it's easy to get lost in the coursework and totally forget about anything else (I didn't touch my platformer for weeks during the last weeks of school and finals), but I feel that it's important to stay consistent in order to remain motivated. Like I mentioned before, even the tiniest bit each week will help keep things going. Learn 1 new function in Javascript? Tweak a number in my program? Anything will do.

And that will do for my modest resolutions for 2012... no, 2013. I will survive, just like I have for the past 19 years of my live. The question is, will I be able to get something more out of it?

gaem update (update x2)

(newer video(s) added for the heck of it, doesn't really deserve a new blog post)

Worked on my game for a couple hours instead of working on my Math 200 problems like I should have. Well worth it though - I managed to implement my physics solution into the game using mutable variables and accumulators that I learned from the last week of CPSC 110, haha! If I was taught this sooner, making this game would have been a bit easier. In java, mutable variables were one of the first things I learned o.O

(oh fuck me, this is starting to look really fun to play! : D)

As the video description says, I need to adjust some of the constants so that the swinging motion looks more natural, but that can be left for later. I'm just happy that I finally have a working version.

On the to-do list for the game:

Make the swing shoot out faster, make it's y coordinate independent from the player, and improve the bar detection function (done)
Make a function that will detect when the character collects a star (in progress)
Update the draw function such that the background scrolls according to the x position of the player (done, whew!)

darkness in humanity

My bro interviewed me for his English assignment on the theme of 'darkness in humanity'.

Question: Why do good people sometimes do terrible things?

Response: The idea of a 'good person' is a myth, an illusion. People, no matter how nice they may seem, inherently hold bad thoughts, and all it takes is the right environmental situation and a little bit of coaxing to bring out those actions.

We both stood silently for a moment. My brother slowly nodded in agreement.

Then we played some Halo 4.

bike break

I found that I wasn't very productive on Saturday, so I decided to spice things up a bit by going on one of my planned bike trips today. Plan: bike along the dyke trail to Steveston Village, and feel free to go anywhere from there.

This is where I ended up going:

Calculated distance: 24km. I swear, some people would have killed to see some of the scenery I saw on the ride. I wish I was a better photographer, but here's some of my best:

Sense of freedom is absolutely great. The whole city is open to you on a bike, and all you have to do is choose a direction and pedal.

Well, I guess I should start studying about now.

break planning

All breaks should be planned out well in advance to allow for the most productivity. The plan should also be realistic, because realistically, you will probably only accomplish half of the items on your to-do list.

1) Learn HTML

I'm gonna have to learn it sooner or later, might as well start now. My dad showed me some pretty good resources on where to start, and along with the Youtube tutorials from that thenewboston guy, I expect to make some fairly good progress over the two or so weeks I have.

2) Friggin exercise

Since I won't be going to school on a daily basis anymore, I can bike around without having to worry about having helmet hair, looking sloppy in a poncho or having rain-soaked pants. I haven't done cardio in a a long time (used weather as an excuse), so I feel like an ass. I have a few awesome bike routes planned out: one is along the Richmond dyke trail, starting from that fishing pier at the bottom of 4 Road and all the way up to the northwestern corner of Richmond, and the other one is of course, from Richmond to UBC.

I need to prepare for a lot of things - weather, temperature, hunger, thirst, and possible bike breakdowns.

Wear a thin long-sleeve shirt, along with a button down on top of that if necessary. If I get hot while biking, I can just take the button down off and put it in my messenger bag. For dealing with hunger, I will just eat a massive meal beforehand. I don't expect the ride to take longer than 3 hours, lol. Thirst - carry a water bottle. As for bike breakdowns, I'll need to do a bike tune-up beforehand. Make sure the gears are working, and do something about the frayed steel cables running along the breaks and gear switching mechanisms. Of course, pump the tires full.

3) Try out new things

Life has been good all semester, but it hasn't been super exciting. I have a list of cool things to do over the break that I haven't done before. Going on long bike trips is one of them. There is also going paintballing (outdoors preferable), explore downtown Vancouver, and going on the Grouse Grind in the freezing cold (dammit, closed for the season).

that time of year again

December is looming, and if it isn't obvious enough with all the holiday ads showing up, Christmas will be here any minute now.

The winter holidays are the best since everybody who left for out-of-province universities will be back. My high school buddies will be sitting around having conversations as if we are still in high school. It's the cool thing about guy friends - there's always an assumption of friendship. It doesn't matter what happens, whether we split up for months or even years on end - when everybody gets together everything continues exactly the way it was left off.

Which of course, means Christmas gifts. Gosh. I remember thinking last year that I wish I could have fewer friends just for the winter so I don't have to spend so much. But now that I think about it, there's really no need to cheap out (too much) on gifts. Is there a huge difference between spending $200 total and $250 on all my gifts? No. Will it affect my life and my living conditions? Most definitely not.

My philosophy is that spending money should be strongly moderated on things that you do frequently. Do you tend to eat out a lot? Moderate that shit. Stop eating at fancy restaurants so often. On the other hand, for one-time events, you shouldn't feel so restricted. In the grand scheme of things, you spend the most money on frequent small things rather than the big things. Damn at my food spending.

So yep. Good friends will probably be getting something. I'll probably also be getting myself something, reward myself a bit for being so cool all semester.

And here's the coolest, happiest song of all time:

unsuccessful coding session

I met up with my coding partner to work on the game for a good 6 hours yesterday at UBC. It started off well - heck, it started off with eating some Mongolian BBQ at the village (amazing food, never tried it before), followed up by an analysis of the problems we were encountering and possible solutions. Today was dedicated to the swinging mechanic (like the grappling hook from Bionic Commando).

This was my proposed solution:

Leon researched a bit of pendulum swing mechanics and worked out a semi-solution basing the player movement off of angles. Personally, I find that method a bit limiting, since it's not easy to take into account the initial velocity state of the player when he enters his swing position.

My solution is based off of pure kinematics (a lot of it, at that), and in theory it should produce a nice uneven arc while taking into account both the initial x and y velocities as well as allowing for adjustable accelerations.

We decided to try out both of these solutions, since the odds are that neither solution will really work (due to some unforeseen issue with our designs), so we slaved away for 5 hours.

End result: not much.

We kept running into issues. Our next-game function design was a bit inconsistent, making it especially difficult for my solution to be implemented as well as requiring new additions to our data structure. Leon's circular swing mechanic wouldn't stop swinging, resulting in a constant circular motion from the character once his swing hooked onto a platform. By 7:30, we were both burnt out, and decided to call it a day.

Estimated number of hours worked on the game so far: 15

Estimated number of hours remaining: at least 15

It's gonna be a long ass trip. The results will be sweet, I can taste it.

alone in the dark

on my bike, that is.

I forgot how amazing it feels to be speeding through the roads at night on my bike. Of course, besides the fact that I was wearing all black today and that I could easily have gotten hit in the face by a left-turning truck. There's something about night air that makes things different. Combine that with my music playlist that I set depending on my mood (electro house, chill-out, or oldies), and it feels like heaven.

And as a bonus, I can talk to myself. Really loudly. Maybe even sing a friggin song. Fuck y'all haters staring at me like I'm a creep, you only hear me for a split second before I zip by.

muhahaha

And here is a progress report on the most amazing game that is being developed at this moment. Readers of this blog will receive a discount for the purchase of this game once it becomes huge and gets published by Microsoft Game Studios in the international game market.

There are apparently 500 lines in the code file, but that's including all the extra spaces. A good estimate on the actual lines of code would probably be in the mid 400s. This is about 3 weeks of planning, trying, and failing with my programming buddy.

Damn. That's a lot of work for not a whole lot of results.

But it feels good to have the basic framework nailed. Having the player model detect whether it's on a platform, making sure it doesn't pass through when it's velocity is too high, and allowing it to pass through in certain cases was tough to implement, especially since I didn't foresee most of the problems I would run into.

This is probably the most satisfied I've been in a loong time. When I sit on my ass to get some of this coding done, it reminds me of the times when I did the same to 3d animate. The same intense concentration, the same sense of accomplishment by the end of the work session.

Going back to my early early blog posts about me looking for real things that interest me, I think I found a practical hobby that I can really get into now. Feels good man.

Next on the to-do list: implement a grappling hook/swinging mechanic. Shit, I should've paid more attention to pendulums in physics 101.

disjointed blog post

Post featuring some random thoughts, no particular connections between them.

-----

When I was volunteering at a place full of little kids in grade 12, my volunteer supervisor told me that I looked like I wasn't very good at expressing my feelings.

What? What does that even mean?

It's not even that I was too quiet, because I wasn't. Come on, those fob volunteers who were just there for the hours never talked to anybody who wasn't Chinese. I never totally understood what it meant, and still don't really know what that means. I never asked her about it though, since she joked around about me not knowing how to use the dishwasher there.

-----

I am just chilling at my desk watching some YouTube and doing some casual music hunting, and my mom brought me my third snack for the morning. Mom, why do you work so hard? Why do you wake up at 4 every morning to make us breakfast and lunch? How are you so cheery all the time?

I know her joints hurt by the end of the day because she works so hard at everything. What can I do? It's not that I want her to stop - her food is amazing, and she loves doing it, but I want to make life easier for her. I can really only think of getting her money so that she can stop working such a tiring job.

Gosh, I feel like a terrible son sometimes.

-----

Dang, I couldn't get together with Leon for game coding yesterday since he had something to do, but I'm heading out to UBC later today to meet him. The functions are going to get amazingly complicated, and I'm not even sure if computers can run them 60 times a second. Will my laptop explode when I press run?

What's exciting is that I know we're going to fail a lot of things. We might've made a critical data structure mistake, and the game doesn't run as intended. Maybe the bar-detection function that I created yesterday is super inefficient, and won't run very well. It's really the only way I'll learn how this stuff works though, so I'll take it like a man.

bad day?

Yep, bad day. Not even a lot of things happened, and I probably have it real good compared to others. But daaaang.

Why can't I just be a robot that feels good all day every day?

friday code nights

Well, I think i'll be making this a weekly thing.

Got together with my coding buddy to start on the design of our platformer. We're going to create it in Dr. Racket first, and translate it into Java if we feel that it's necessary (in theory, it shouldn't be thaaaaat hard).

Here's a picture of some of our early work on the design (featuring teammate, Leon)

Definitely the most exciting thing I've done all week. 2.5 hours of discussing the game's mechanics, potential problems, and writing out the full data definition along with preliminary function design. Crossing my fingers that this thing turns out playable - better yet, fun.



Aaand since Caro asked, here are the requirements I put out for the group, ordered by importance:

1) Must have free time - no current honors students, cannot be taking more than 5 courses per term

2) Must be intending to go into the compsci field after graduation, whether it's for industry or research

3) Must be on a similar skill level as the rest of the members - varying skill levels will result in an unsustainable group environment and will probably be destined to fail

4) GPA is irrelevant

5) Must be: trustworthy, reliable, be willing to self-learn, (insert more positive character traits here)

Purpose: to create our own projects together and learn how to code effectively in a group setting

If interested, apply now.

more programs

I went back to the drawing board for my expanding program, made some major changes which now require re-coding the little I already made. On the upside, it allows for better data management and allows for user bubble inputs straight from the running program. Downside, I need some more crazy coordinate algorithms. Dang, gurl.

To add to the list of news on my blog, I finally recruited one member to my coding team. I have a loong checklist of strict requirements for it, and this man qualified. Nice to see that he's eager to take part. Current objective: get a simple platformer prototype code up and running on Dr Racket in order to get more efficient code design for when we eventually move it onto Java.

Haven't been this excited for a while. Fuck the stat midterm, that shit can wait.

Update: studying stats now :'(

$?

My mom always had her views on what money is and how it should be seen. During grade 12, she always told me "don't chase after money. You'll get what you work for, no more, no less."

What? But what about the dream jobs that require you to work very little and give you a lot of money in return? I later realized that those jobs did not exist. One can make serious money as an accountant, but of course that will come at the cost of working crazy hours a week. One can also make serious money as an entrepreneur, at the cost of mind-racking stress levels that your idea won't take off and countless hours working away on something that won't necessarily result in money coming your way. The same applies for a lot of careers, actually.

The second bit of philosophy I remember my mom telling me is that once I get a job, I should be content with earning enough money to live comfortably. There are always (always) problems that come with having massive amounts of money, and supposedly it will twist your priorities away from what they should be on. And the reason why people with a lot of money have financial problems in the first place is that they spend it on the dumbest shit. Be a smart spender and I will not have those problems, she says.

Obviously, I won't really know what to think of money until I grow older and actually start my career, and I can't be sure if this is even relevant this day and age when a homes in Vancouver cost over a million bucks, rent prices are also sky high, and video games still cost $67 tax included (I mean, come on!), but I'm willing to take my mom's word on a lot of this stuff.

One of my ways of thinking is that a lot of the things you do in life should reduce stress in your life. Worried you won't be able to do that? Get a decent degree. Worried about your GPA? Go friggin study some more (and study smarter). Worried about whether or not that girl (or guy) likes you? Go ask the bitch out. All of these reduce your worry levels. But if doing something causes more stress in your life, and doesn't seem to reduce stress a whole lot on the long run either, it's doesn't really make sense to do it. Taking up a job with a higher salary to jump on a plane every day, jumping from city to city? Working in an office with miserable co-workers? Late-night hours at work? No thanks.

watched finding a friend for the end of the world

- featuring Steve Carell and Keira Knightley. I chose this over an action movie, and wow do I feel girly after watching it.

Not that I'm complaining. The ending made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, even though everybody dies.

12 hours by a screen

I sat by my computer for about 12 hours yesterday trying my best on the CodeSlam competition problems. This is how my schedule went:

2.5 hours: developed algorithm for stock question
3 hours: frustrated over not knowing how to implement BufferedReader/InputStreamReader
1 hour: contacted friend who helped me understand how to implement said things, sigh of relief
1 hour: frustrated over not understanding that the main class cannot access non-static variables
0.5 hours: finished off what I could for code, got part marks

1 hours: developed algorithm for game bot competition problem
2 hours: messed around with it, tried out variable terrible ideas
1 hour: submitted and waited for it to verse other contestants, had a 9th place standing for a short amount of time

(Right now my bot code is sitting at 49th place out of 95 or so "finalist" contestants, I'm really too burnt out to try to improve it though)

Holy crap did I have tunnel vision after that. I needed to stay away from screens after a while, but couldn't since I promised my brother a good gaming session on the Xbox. As I lay on my bed that night, I felt strangely relaxed.

Although a lot of my time was wasted/spent inefficiently (3 hours over input methods? Ahahaha), the experience as a whole will undoubtedly prove useful in the future as I walk deeper into the thick of computer science. A lot of mistakes were made, a lot of new things were tried out, a lot of frustration was had, and a lot of things were learned. The act of coding itself became a whole lot more interesting, and right now I can't wait to finish off all of my boring school assignments so that I can focus all of my efforts into working on my expanding mindmap  program idea.

tough week

Definitely not as tough as the weeks some others are having, but still, 3 midterms in a week. Quite the change of pace from the laid back weeks I've been having.

Personal to do list (to organize my thoughts):

- fix up bike or look into new ones; it feels like it's about to break apart
- poncho on rainy days!
- 24hr CodeJam thing this Saturday, go learn a thing or two from it
- help sister out with calculus, she seems to be having a tough time with derivatives

Bonus:

-are people the average of their friends?
-are fobs inherently closed-minded?

mornings

Hell yes I just created a morning flowchart, took 10 minutes.

You're friggin welcome.

(save as to gigantify)

wanting to go home and program in my free time like a nerd

Nerd updates. For the heck of it. Written from my semi-useless Phil 120 class.

I have started developing a small java program that I just call the expanding mind-map. The idea is that it graphically displays a bunch of pre-entered information in the form of a mind map, but they're all bunched up into one bubble initially. Upon clicking the a bubble, it expands into the next level, and so on.

In my mind, the coolest part of this is supposed to the the look and feel of the program, how smoothly the transitions happen and the cool small animations that occur whenever a bubble is clicked. Unfortunately, I have very little clue on how this fancy GUI stuff works, so all I've done is work on the boring number bits (which I believe is actually the hardest part of the program - almost a total of 3 hours working on ArrayList, String, int, and char manipulations, with a dash of trigonometry and line vectors? Whew. So far I have a program with no red underlines (the syntax is a bitch), but who knows if it's runnable yet. Many more hours to go...

What's really exciting about this to me is that it's really my first 'project' that I thought up of on my own without textbook influence. Of course, realistically it'll look like a lame program written in the 80s, but my strong visual imagination will carry me through. If I have time, I might make a concept video/animation on how the components work.

CPSC 110 is really the most amazing course I have ever taken, especially so because I self-learned Java on my own but never really learned how to properly design a program. After learning a bunch of things from DrRacket, and learning the equivalents for some DrRacket operations for Java, I now know what the point of classes are, can create data definitions, and most importantly, create methods many times more efficiently due to better planning.

When writing out a program, I find that writing a bunch of comments and pseudocode initially greatly helps with the actual coding aspect.

I will work on this very hard and pray that I don't end up with a messy pile of shitty unusable code.

Fashion upgrade

So I've set a goal for myself to look sexy this year.
Say hello to the new member of my wardrobe!

And here's me staring at some beer with my family.

19!

Heck yeah, it's my birthday! Say happy birthday to me!

Also my mom's birthday. Sucks that I'm out most of the day.

oh nooo

I met an old elementary school friend on the bus today.

We used to be in a 3 man nerd gang back in the day. We were allowed to skip math tests and play monopoly in the meantime because the teachers knew we were going to ace them anyways.

He has failed a math course and 2 physics courses. He is on academic probation. He doesn't even want an engineering degree and would prefer biology, but he thinks he'll fail that too.

How times have changed...   :(

human resources

When I was in the thick of animating, I was trying to join some official game modding groups, through Moddb.com, and there were a few things I realized. I was a decent budding animator. I was learning things fast. I was willing to sit in front of a computer all day making some character jump up and down or make a pair of hands reload some gun. For free.

There is a lot of talent out there, I realized - a thought that was reinforced as I visited other's profiles. They had similar wishes: to be a part of a group and make something. For free. If I wanted to make a game,  I wouldn't be able to do it myself, but there would be a heck of a lot of people who were willing to put in the serious effort to get one off the ground. Aspiring animators, texture artists who have been using Photoshop since they were 5, computer science students eager to learn and make their own code for something, sound artists playing around with FL Studio trying to make their own electronic productions...

I'll admit that when I was in high school I had a terrible thought of making a game "company" that took advantage of all these "free resources" - having wannabe developers sign a discrete contract that allows me to use their assets for profit-purposes, have them eagerly create their products, put them together and sell the game for a dirty profit with minimal development effort on my part. After all, why not? Many of these people wanted to be a part of something and feel respected and appreciated, and this would provide that. Resources are meant to be used, and there was a bunch of it waiting to be taken advantage of.

*shudder
dark thoughts o.o

ah shit

I was biking to Bridgeport yesterday, just minding my own business and enjoying the cool morning air, when all of a sudden my bladder felt like it was about to explode.

Ah shit. This happened last time, and it did not result in an enjoyable bus ride. My survival instincts kicked in: what are my options? There's a tree here, a bush here... there is an intersection nearby though... cars stopped by the red light will be wondering what that kid is doing over there. There's a blackberry bush there... those have thorns though.

Then I remembered that gas stations had washrooms, so I just rode my bike into one and continued on feeling fresh.

Which reminds me of some of my life philosophies:

Some things simply have a greater priority than everything else. 1) Doing number 1 and/or 2 before heading out and 2) Eating when you know you're going to get hungry. Whatever you're planning to do is just not worth it if you feel like you're going to be uncomfortable the whole time. It's probably better to go late, yes, even for exams.

Am I qualified to make such a statement? Heck yeah I am. 18 (almost 19 hell yeah!) years of life experience here with many stories of almost pissing myself and fainting from hunger.

Life stuff

So I've settled into uni life once again. Things are going smoothly, and I am not really running into any problems.

1) I ride my bike for an hour every day:

I ride for 30 minutes to and from Bridgeport every day. The ride is always great, with amazing scenery particularly during sunset. Great cardio, and and I feel energized and positive throughout the day. It'll suck once it starts raining though :(

2) I don't study at Irving:

In fact, I only go into Irving to take a piss in the washrooms. I hate that place. You can never find a seat anywhere unless you got buddies who are reserving them for you. People are everywhere. The air is like blankets. I need a study location with as few people around as possible, preferably private, but heck, I don't live on residence anymore.

-Compsci labs: I have no idea when they hold lab sessions, but when they don't, it's a fine place to sit around and finish off small bits of work while eating a snack or two.

-Marine Drive commonsblock: This place has two amazing study rooms that are rarely occupied by more than 5 people at a time, a massive chill lounge with comfy red sofas, and several small round tables for 2 that face the sunny outdoors. I have a great range of study environments to choose from, and so far they've all been absolutely quiet with no distractions from people walking in and out. I suspect this is because it's on the far far end of campus, and people would rather be within a 5 minute walking range from their classes. I got a bike on campus, but even if I walked, I would probably go here often.

-

One thing I'd like to do a bit more is talk to more people. Other than my friends that I visit weekly in their residences and sometimes run into in class, I really don't have an excuse to talk to new people. Oh, girl sitting next to me in compsci? Hi, what's up. My name is blah blah blah. Enjoying the class? Bye, sucks I'll never see you again (since the classes are so mofoing big).

Plus I usually go home straight away, cutting out chances to meet them through study groups (although I wouldn't go to them anyways, study groups suck).

Do I need to join a club or something? Bleh. I doubt I'd be wanting to get my social fix very often in a month or so when things really start to pick up. I'll set up a mirror on my table and talk to myself now.

First week of school!

I'd rate my first week of school an 8/10. Fairly fun week, and got to see a bunch of old friends - in fact, it was probably better than my first week in res from last year, even though I had a cool white roommate and went to an all ages AMS dance party with floormates.

I ended up staying late on campus Thursday, so I ended up scrambling to find a place to sleep. Thankfully, I had a friend living in some fancy 2 story house 5 minutes from Totem with spare beds that I could sleep in (one bed had some girl's period blood on it, gross). I woke up the next day feeling absolutely shitty, and it got worse throughout the day. When I visited my friend at Marine, my brain felt like it was about to cave in, so I took his Tylenol and slept on his bed for a good hour and a half. Skipped all classes that day. Ugh.


-BIKING!-

To bring myself back up after recovering, I decided to go for a bike ride to UBC from the south end of Richmond yesterday. No big deal, I thought, it's only 24km. Oh boy, I was in for a treat.

I recorded 6 short videos of me talking to myself (pretending to talk to an audience), so I could keep track of my location and time and eventually calculate my speed at each part of the trip. Here's one from on the Oak street bridge.
(lol at the thumbnail)

-35 minutes to get from home to Bridgeport, about the same time it takes by bus. Averaged 15km/h.
-Whopping 75 minutes to get from Bridgeport to UBC. Averaged a 12.5km/h (if I even calculated properly)

The numbers are a bit off because the distances and timing were a bit fuzzy, but the important bit is that it took 1 hour 50 minutes to complete the trip. Holy shizzles. In my defense, the hills by Pacific Spirit Park were absolutely killer.

The experience was amazing though, especially as my first long distance bike trip. Firstly, it felt like driving a car! I was pretty much cycling right beside fast moving cars,  had to follow street lights and signs (some I weren't sure about, was I supposed to stop by the red stop signs??), and give nearby cars turn signals using my left arm. Eventually, I got over my initial thoughts that the road was a dangerous place and just became a part of it.

Secondly, the sense of speed I had (when I wasn't pedalling uphill) was amazing - haven't felt that much adrenaline that since ziplining between mountains on Grouse. It was also quite dangerous, since my brakes weren't functioning perfectly and the tires were prone to skidding. I almost hit an Asian fob on the way through Aberdeen, but he looked like a douchebag and I almost with I hit him on the way.

I broke my bike's brakes as I was loading it onto the 99 later that day coming home. Great.



To do:

-Fix the damn brakes.
-Find a manageable way to bike to UBC. Probably bussing to Bridgeport and biking from there.
-If biking becomes a consistent method of transportation for me, invest in a road bike. My bike is categorized as a mountain bike, and is apparently inefficient on flat roads due to it's unnecessarily heavy mass, wide wheels, and suspension systems

September

Well finally the new school year has arrived.

I don't like being uncertain about things. I want all my events planned out well in advance, and I like to know exactly what's going to hit me. Unfortunately, the upcoming semester is shrouded in mystery. I have no idea what to expect. Will it be more or less the same as what I experienced first year? Will I get my ass handed to me on midterms and finals? Will I meet people who hate my guts for some reason? Who knows, but hell, the only thing I can do is just take it. Some things in life you just can't control.

Of course I want to do things outside of academics, but I gotta be realistic here. A 1.5 hour commute (maybe even 2 hours if I miss my goddamn 403 at Bridgeport at night) for each trip absolutely sucks. Why do I live on the south end of Richmond? I'll estimate that I can allocate a good 2 weekdays to doing 'fun' things at school. What will I do on those 2 days? I'm still in the process of deciding, but I'm thinking:

1) Toastmasters:
Sucks that the events are held so late on Wednesdays, so I'll have to get all my homework and lab prep done beforehand. I've only been to two meetings last year before I totally forgot about it, but I have a good idea of what to expect. Plus, I can be a full member now I will be 19 soon.

2) Swimming:
I didn't really take advantage of the free pool last year, probably because it was so darn far from Totem, but now that I don't have that excuse, I think I'll be heading in for a swim exactly once a week, for up to an hour at a time. I have a break from 3:30 to 5 on Tuesdays, so I'll squeeze it in there along with my dinner.
Jenn, maybe you can tell me how to build that insane swimming endurance you have??

Now as for studying, I will not have a lot of time at night to study. I'll be getting home at 5 on some days and 8 on other days. My classes generally start at noon or after, leaving me a bunch of free time in the mornings. I know my habits, and I am not productive in the mornings when it comes to academics.

2 solutions: I can try to change my slightly lazy morning habits, or I can just put in some non-academic thing to do in the mornings. I'm inclined to go with the latter, probably by hitting some weights. A buddy of mine wants to start going to the gym - a good thing, but I'm just a bit anxious about walking into a room with a bunch of veterans. In addition, I can also satisfy my gaming cravings. Borderlands 2 comes out in September, Assassins Creed comes out in October, and Halo 4 comes out in November - best to get them out of the way before my studying starts.

As for sleep, I think I'll push up my usual sleeping time from 10:30 to just before 11:30. I don't have a strong need to get up early in the morning, and I know from experience that my productivity levels spike after I eat dinner and shower, usually at around 7. It'd be best to keep the productivity streaks going rather than breaking them off early. Of course, my schedule would be a bit different when I'm sleeping over at friends' residences in my cozy sleeping bag (or in the dark compsci labs).

I wrote too much, and it's past bedtime.

J

Cool photo.

I should leave school and become a professional photographer with my cellphone cam.

I did nothing

but watch Code Geass for the past 2 days (or 3 days??).

It had the perfect ending, so now I can lean back satisfied and go on doing productive things again.

Back Up

After chilling in the doldrums for about a week, it's time to step up my game again. As a bonus, here's a picture of me half-conscious:

School starts in 2 weeks - it will be the pattern of studying for a midterm, studying for the next midterm, then studying for the final, so I should enjoy the bit of summer I have left as well as be incredibly productive.

I'l list the things I will work on here for the sake of it:

1) Hit the apartment gym consistently in the mornings for the next two weeks:
It's much easier to maintain something if it's done early in the morning before I have time to think up of a bunch of excuses. Breakfast will consist of milk, and bunch of eggs, and a bowl of rice. I've probably lost a lot of strength over the past week, so I'd better get into shape fast. As a bonus, I doubt many people, if at all, will be there at 8 in the morning.

2) Continue my multi variable calculus overview
I learned early this summer that I can only learn and retain new knowledge in my head when I'm alone. Totally alone. Because of this, I had quite an easy time with Math 221 (not quite an A+, but whatever) when I learned the concepts through Khan Academy before actually attending the lectures.
Of course, I've heard people talk about the benefits of studying before classes, but I've rarely put it into practice. I'm quite determined to push this habit throughout my 2nd year.
The name "multivariable calc" scared me a bit, which is why I chose that to go over beforehand, but it doesn't seem incredibly difficult atm (don't jinx it, Albert). Next up will probably be some discrete math for CPSC 121.

3) Climb Grouse one final time (Sunday?)
This isn't particularly high on my priorities, but why the heck not? I'll go to just enjoy the hike this time, rather than strain myself to get a killer time. Ideally when my swelling has gone all the way down so I don't look like a goof.

4) Keep learning new things for Java
I learned that being familiar with the language and how it works is much more important than knowing the nitty gritty details of its workings. At the moment, it's not easy for me to get a lot of practical hands-on time coding all sorts of cool things, as I'm not in a CPSC lab course and am not aware of resources that can kickstart me to get there, but I do follow example code from books and try out simple exercises. I think for the rest of the summer, I'll ram through what's left of my Java book and the online Java tutorials (which go together surprisingly well).

I am familiar with:
program structures,
control statements,
arrays,
objects,
inheritance,
polymorphism,
and the absolute basics of GUI creation.

Over the next two weeks I should be able to cover:
string manipulation,
files and streams,
more recursion,
searching algorithms,
maybe take a sneak peek at networking as well.



Holy sh*t, this is a looong post. Why did I even write so much?
Dear diary.

Updates on my pain

Day 1)

-face turned yellow, almost lost full body strength, couldn't keep balance (mom and brother helped me move between transit stations)
-drank 3 energy drinks to keep me going for the entire day

Day 2)

-swelling began, face literally looks like a pear
-tasted blood 24/7
-managed to take in some chicken soup
-ate some instant noodles for dinner (took 30 minutes to eat)
-felt whoozy whenever I stood up

Day 3)

-swelling worsened, unable to shut jaw completely
-backwards progress, can't even eat noodles anymore, resorted to drinking all day
-relied on painkiller medication to prevent me from feeling totally shitty

Day 4)

-swelling slightly reduced, able to chew small bits of food
-higher calorie and sugar intake, able to think and concentrate better
-reduced bleeding, way less pain
-got incredibly drowsy from medication in the afternoon (ended up taking 1.5 hour nap)
-will watch some Code Geass

Day 5)

-swelling significantly reduced (fk yeah!), able to eat almost anything I want to now
-can still feel stitches in the back of my mouth with my tongue though, feelsweirdman
-will start doing stuff today

Going to the dentist

So to have 4 wisdom teeth taken out, I had to go under sedation. Cool. I asked my bro and sis what kinds of things I said as I was coming out of it.

I apparently had a cool conversation about video games with my brother about video games.

I apparently also took a bunch of photos of myself with my phone.

Sister: are you cold?
Me: no, because you are Russian.

Brother: what's the last time you remember?
Me: 9:30
An hour later:
Brother: what's the last time you remember?
Me: 9:30

Apparently, I also sent 2 text messages, which I was able to check up on later (nothing stupid, whew). Overall, a strange experience considering that I can't remember most of the things I did. It reminds me of the one time I sleepwalked - I got up in the middle of the night to shower. When my mom asked me why I was showering, I responded with "I am cold".

Draft Animation

This 7 second clip is the result of 2.5ish hours of animating.

Had to do some research on girls walking in heels. They put the toe end down first? Wat? Sounds painful.

And I'll be honest (ashamed to admit), I was strutting around in my room like a woman trying to understand the movement of specific joints while I was trying to make the animation seem more natural.

Next on the list: smooth out the animation and animate the hair strands.

notes to myself

Double post, but mostly for my sake. There's quite the difference between imagining your to do list and physically writing/typing it down.

To do:

1) Prepare for hell when I get my 4 wisdom teeth yanked this (upcoming) weekend:
-Eat up as much as I can beforehand, because I'll be on a liquid diet for the next 2 days :(
-Train myself to not lose brain function after 4 hours of not eating anything (try eating less at a time)
-Hell, maybe even look forward to starving (you'll be losing body fat, Albert! awesome....)

2)  Java:
-Finish off polymorphism reading, complete case study
-Get back to GUIs, learn how to make custom positions for all those fancy buttons, start up on more advanced button operations
-Find assignments/practice projects to work on

3) Steal rich friend's house:
-Get keys, take over for a few days (inquire tomorrow)

4) Reschedule man-date:
-Bring up project, run over ideas/plans
-Receive wise advice

5) Convo with VFS buddy:
-briefing on flash/unity
-learn to build early prototype

4) Install 3ds Max:
-Find a nice 3d woman model, pre-rigged, preferably non-nude (way too many of those o.O)
-familiarize myself with interface and keyboard shortcuts, make a 10 second stop motion animation base
-smooth out transitions, get timing right
-animate face (?)

5) Grouse Grind:
-Head up when the temperature drops a few notches and/or the darned mosquitoes die off
-Likely final time for the summer, make it count

The firstest date evar

Here's an interesting item I found during my wallet clean-up: a movie ticket from the first date I ever went on in my life.

And out of all the movies I could've chosen, I chose Transformers.

Must've been strange with Megan Fox filling the screen, now that I think about it.

Turned down a movie invite to study java at home

The idea of a movie came up during a group lunch at some fancy restaurant. To be honest, I didn't see much of an appeal to Total Recall anyways.

But there was an annoying ass bitch there in the gang. Who thought it was a good idea to invite her? It doesn't matter that she's young and very sexy (oh, that's prob why she was invited), HER VOICE DRIVES ME UP THE EFFING WALL! It doesn't help that she speaks like a 10 year old. I had to refrain myself from stuffing a rag down her mouth.

Need to develop good excuses to ditch friends when necessary.

Gaem design

So during grade 11, I wanted to be a video game developer. I considered going for Vancouver Film School.

Those were quite the days. I would spend hours thinking of cool game ideas. They weren't quite as naive as those of others, since I had some idea of how game development worked. I even spent several hours trying out a demo render of what a first person shooter could look like:

This was a full 3d animation from about 3 and a half years ago. Of course, it was a pain attaching the camera at the right location and moving the entire first person body without ruining any of the bone rigs, but in the end it came out roughly satisfactory. If I spent a few more hours on it, I might've actually made the scenes and the lighting look nice!

I don't want to repeat my animation post from several posts ago, but I really do believe that in a 3d, AAA modern game, animations are THE most important thing to take into account, and that even in the year 2012, animation systems are quite lacking. I told myself that if I ever make it into the industry, I'd become a master animator/animation systems coder. I had ideas on how to vastly improve games, and to this day, I still think they are valid.

But then grade 12 happened, and then the first year of uni happened. I jumped around a bit back and forth, and ended up here in computer science. It almost feels that I've made a full circle. In my current major, the game development path is an option! Compsci is quite nice when it comes to potential job placements, and as a bonus, it's field I can really put my head into. Areas of game development such as coding for game mechanics, game engines, and rendering systems have opened up! (Maybe going a bit overboard, but let me enjoy the moment).

In an ideal world, I would graduate with a BSc in Compsci, land a software engineering position at Bungie (located in Seattle) or 343 Industries (also near Seattle), and work on systems during the intense 3-4 year game development cycles for various console platforms. Observe and take part in the evolution of games and the technology they run on. Unfortunately, this is the epitome of wishful thinking. I can almost guarantee myself that I'll never actually land a job in those companies, but the hope can drive me through the tough hours that await me at school.

At the moment, I am blasting my way through Java tutorials and toying around with GUIs. Hopefully I'll be able to get somewhere beyond fancy number and string operations by the end of this month. Still very far from making a functional game, but hey, we all have to start somewhere.

Obligatory photo dump

Grouse time: 2 hours exact. lol.

Caro being stupid:

Photos!

The best of, from Thursday's UBC romp:

Life update: things are looking up!

Family is not something you choose - it's something you're stuck with.

But it's sure nice to be stuck with great people.

This initial chunk will be a tribute to how cool my brother and sister are. I enjoy my quiet time during most of the day when they are in summer school. Once they walk in through the balcony windows, the party starts. We joke around, make fun of each other, give each other advice, call each other a-holes, help each other out. I find chilling with them quite calming, relaxing, and surprisingly entertaining. In a way, we are like our own little comedy show. Rarely a day passes when we all laugh our butts off rolling around on the bedroom floor.

We've been through a lot together, through a lot of tough bits especially during our elementary school days. I remember that there times when it felt that it was just us three versus the world, and we were the only ones there to support each other. Thankfully things got a bit better as we got into high school, and now everything's great.

My sister is very artsy, and brings a different take on things to the table. She doesn't like being around too many people in general, and likes to live in her own world most of the time. My brother is very practical/creative. He's designed and created several awesome things (working minecraft costume!) on numerous occasions, and also happens to be quite popular in his grade while maintaining great marks. I'm just a bit jelly. Unfortunately he tends to lose his temper frequently.

*end sibling brag. A and S, you two are the coolest!


Things could not be going much better in the summer! I finally got my first official painting assignment. Fuck yeah, employment here I come! Later this week, I will be standing outside in the sweltering heat sweating my balls off while painting and pressure washing for various clients in Richmond and in White Rock. Tough work, but I am looking forward to it. I can't shake off the feeling that I'm going to mess up on something badly though :(

Consistent cash income through tutoring (until it ends), salary through painting, teaching myself some more Java, maybe start on discrete math... great summer. Life should be simple. And enjoyable.


More things to do:

Fireworks this Saturday (?) (Caro, Jenn: what's going on with that?)
Grouse Grind every 2 weeks (on non-working days) (stop being so fat and lazy Albert)
Plan out a 3d animation skit (thinking of featuring an angry woman slapping her man)

Couldn't sleep 'till 1am yesterday

Wow, lying on my bed for an hour not being able to sleep is undoubtedly the worst feeling ever. All these random thoughts popping out, transitioning into other thoughts... I haven't felt that confused in a long time.

Time to set my head straight.

I wonder if I'm unknowingly worried about something.

Summer Blues

Well that's that. No internship spots left, although the supervisor mentioned that I'll probably get a spot next summer if I apply. Well thanks :(

Will I have to resort to working at McDonalds now? I was honestly looking for a 'nicer' job, but with only one month available to work, I doubt that many places would want to hire me. I am considering getting some UBC food services job, which will give me a nice excuse to spend some quality quiet summer time on campus and relax before September. Any readers know of food places that are open for the rest of the summer?

On the bright side, I'll still be getting paid in cold hard cash until my tutee's summer class ends in early August, Enjoy employment while it lasts, Albert.

On a side note:

For the heck of it, I decided to record audio journals since a few weeks ago. I think everybody knows dat feel when they hear their own voice, so I wanted to get over that strange feeling as well as recognize any strange speech behaviour that I may be showing. After several recordings, I gotta say that I don't sound half as bad as I initially thought. Since I had a morbid fear of speaking in elementary school, I always held a thought that my words always came out quiet, a bit muffled and unclear, but I was able to tell what I was saying quite easily. A problem I found is that I tend to have a bunch of pauses during my talks, which I prefer over saying 'um' fillers. I can't actually talk and think at the same time, so occasionally I need brief breaks to let my brain catch up to my mouth. I hope to minimize that soon. Goal: be able to give a strong presentation without sounding goofy (ahh, the good ol' days at Toastmasters).

On another side note:

I have been watching way too much of 'The Office', to the point of not getting anything done, but I am past the point of no return. I am too invested in the characters, and I absolutely must see what is going to happen to all the romances that are going on. I told my sister that I thought Angela was the coolest character in the series, but she just brushed off my opinion saying that she was too much of a bitch.

Well, yeah. She is a stone cold bitch, but a really cool one at that. I told this to my ENFP buddy (who is supposed to help me get in touch with my emotional, human side), and combined with everything else he knows about me, he suspects that I subconsciously like to dominate girls. Wat? I don't even know how people come up with conclusions like that.

He also suspects that I'm innocent looking, but in reality I am a heartless man who is thirsty for all the power I can get my hands on, and will bring people down in order to achieve it. Hmm.

Summer planning

Immediately after I finish my summer English course that I'm not particularly fond of, my real summer starts. For maximum productivity, I should draw out my plans for my free month of August before hell starts up in September (which I'm looking forward to)

3D animation mini project:

I've learned from my habits over the years that I'll never be able to complete a full length ambitious project featuring multiple pixar level characters and story development. There's only so much one person can do, and unfortunately I don't have a 3D partner.

I'll start out simple by planning an animation that'll last anywhere from 15 seconds to a full minute (depending on complexity) preferably featuring some character interaction that goes beyond killing each other. Will think about the simple storyboard once I get inspiration.

Sample of something from a loong time ago:

Internship (cross fingers):

My friend alerted me on this potential position at some massive Vancouver shipping corporation. If they have a spot open, I'll jump in and get paid 13 an hour full time. 500 dollars a week? Yes please.

Chances of there being an open spot seems to a a bit iffy at the moment though. The intern supervisor emailed me saying that there are no spots in commercial, but will look into human resources. If I could cross my fingers any harder, I would.


Fitness:

Just the usual. Hit the weights 2-3 times a week, jog once a week, and climb up Grouse every 1 or 2 weeks (depending on the weather and my mood).


Java:

I haven't learned squat in programming for the past week and a half, thanks to my brain wasting many many hours trying to think up of a very good thesis for my research essay. Fortunately it turned out well, but I cringe when I think about the amount of time I needed to think of it.

Self-learning can only get me so far, but I don't want to walk into class a total noob. I will pick up on expanding my knowledge on this stuff right after I hand in my research essay this Thursday.

Ugh, I feel sloppy.



And that's all off the top of my head. I need more stuff to do. Probably my biggest priority would be making money over the summer, in case that cool internship doesn't turn out. If I have to go back to McDonalds, I'll do it.

Grouse #3

1 hour 8 minutes. Wow, Jenn. You could easily have whooped my ass on the Grind time.

Here are some pretty pictures from the hike, including a video!

(note how surreal the whole place looked)

It's nice how it started pouring rain just as we reached the base of the mountain. I was soaked head to toe. Something was always dripping into my eye, and I couldn't tell whether it was rain or sweat. We heard thunder in the background. Definitely a strange experience to remember.

Heading back in two weeks time. Cya later

Cars

Starting off with a song:

^my kind of song to have playing when I'm feeling relaxed, home alone.




I've been seeing a lot of classy cars out in the streets of Richmond recently (result of summer?), so naturally it got me thinking about cars.

I'm not really sure how much I want one.

My family got by all our lives without owning a car, and we're still quite alive. We've managed to do all our shopping by bus, even though it is a pain bussing for 2 hours to get to some exotic store a world away and bussing back. My mom works conveniently near a bus stop, and we live 1 minute away from one too. Life doesn't seem so bad.

What would getting a car really do? It'd tack on insurance and gas prices. I'm not even sure what we'd use it for. My mom wouldn't use it to drive to work, as bussing is convenient enough already. I probably can't drive for shit, so I wouldn't be taking that thing to school.

I remember the reason why I wanted a car is because every other family I knew had one. It seemed like something that was supposed to be owned. All my friends got to drive one around occasionally when their parents let them, and I always thought being in a car was cool as heck. Steering wheels feel heavy and solid in the hand, and the light humming from the engine is nice to listen to. But what is a common household purchase hardly seems like a necessity.

While reading the newspaper, sometimes my mom will joke about how a nice car came out and how we should totally buy it. I used to feel a bit irked, as I thought actually owning a car would be awesome. Now, I'll just go along with the joke. I still want that Audi, but it's hardly on the top of the list. And if a girl complains that I don't have my N yet... well she's probably a spoiled hoe anyways.


Anyways, Audi R8 at $135,000 no big deal.

brb becoming sexy

about to head out to my lawn (1st floor apartment, fk yeah) for a nice tan. ppl can stare all they want.

plus today is my workout day. will ask mom for a significant protein-loaded meal.


i didn't even do anything productive today, but i feel good anyways

Helping kids out

Because my painting manager's a goofball, he ran out of painting jobs by the middle of summer. Bummer. Now he's running around White Rock cold-calling for more assignments. Thankfully, I landed myself a nice 'job' tutoring a dude physics 12.

Of course, it'd be nice if this was just a typical student: someone who's trying hard to get into some specific program at some prestigious university - but that's not the case. This guy, who I'll refer to as D, is almost the same age as me and is still taking high school courses.

Well shucks.

He has failed numerous courses, the majority of them probably being in English. His other marks are nothing to show off about except his 90s math mark.

It was definitely a bit unnerving. After all, I've never associated myself with kids who failed courses for the entirety of my life. I was surprised in high school when I discovered that such kids even existed. How do I talk to people like this? Are they thugs? Would they think I'm being too much of a smartass?

But I took a chill pill, and head over armed with a sheet of paper and a physics workbook to teach D physics last week. I suggested that we do two sessions before the summer class actually started, so that he has an advantage when we actually walks into class, starting off with a crash course on every single chapter and the basic concepts for each one, with some tips on each one from personal experience.

He got a 98 on his first test. Granted, it is just the beginning of the course, but he feels confident on the subjects he's learning so far. His mom also took the effort to tell me how much D likes my style of teaching, and asked if I could head over three times a week, for $30 an hour. Well, hell yeah I would like to.

I learned that D isn't retarded, as demonstrated by his math marks. He was merely unmotivated. He didn't understand what he was learning in the first place, which made it hard for him to give a shit later on in all of his courses. It makes me wonder how the hell these teachers are teaching their courses if they can't make students at least somewhat interested in their subject.

It's definitely a cool feeling to help a guy up in academics. D took physics 12 before, but received a poor mark and didn't find it enjoyable at all; now, he understands what he's doing and is quite excited for my tutor sessions. His mom's quite happy too, so now I won't feel shitty charging $30 an hour (even though it was their idea). To be optimistic, maybe I can help him get into a post-secondary program of choice as well.

I gotta help my sister with physics 12 and math 12, and my brother with math 10 over the summer. In addition, though unlikely, K might ask for some tips with physics 102, as well as buddy of mine who has a math 103 (or something like that) final coming up soon. That is a lot of talking to do, but as long as I can help people understand things better and eventually feel confident in themselves as they walk in to take a test, I'll be satisfied.

Ridin' Solo

So I wanted to beat my previous Grouse Grind time of 58 minutes. I set out to go today. Initially I wanted to bring some people over with me, but later on realized that hell, I didn't want all these uninspirational whiny kids slowing me down. And plus, I would be able to listen to music during the whole time without having to take my earbuds out to pretend to listen and talk back. I set out solo with a backpack containing my read-on-bus book "The Art of Seduction" and my lunch.

^ at the base of Grouse. Not a very exciting photo due to the thick thick cloud cover


Early on, I felt great. Positive emotions at an all time high, absolutely amazing scenery (partial fog covering the entire forest), only a slight burn on my calves, and awesome music blasting into my ears. Near the halfway altitude point, my legs slowly started to die away, and almost wished that I had a whiny buddy with me to slow me down.

My mini-goal to keep on moving up was to find a girl with a nice ass/legs, tail her for a bit, then move ahead to find the next one. This was not as easy as one may think: it's hard as heck to increase climbing speed all of a sudden, and the weather wasn't too lot, resulting in an unfortunate lack of miniskirts (jkjk) and short shorts. The leggings were numerous though, and occupied me until near the end, when I felt nothing but the pain in my legs.

Eventually, I made it up with a self-recorded time of 1 hour 6 minutes. That's 8 minutes slower than my best :(... I was inclined to believe that I didn't record properly when I scored the 58 minutes.

I'll write down some tips for aspiring grinders.

-You will feel tired very quickly (probably about 10 minutes into the climb). Don't think about turning back, and just keep on trekking forward. That tired feeling will mostly go away by the 1/3 point. Congrats, you have crossed the mental barrier.

-You will later, however, encounter another barrier: your physical barrier. Unfortunately, you can't overcome this just by enduring. It just means that you've been a huge pussy and that you haven't exercised when you should have. As you near the 3/4 point, your physical barrier should be made very clear to you. Adjust your pace accordingly. Aim for consistency over speed: in the end, consistency will always win.

I really enjoy the feeling at the end of the grind - the feeling of accomplishment, of overcoming a bunch of difficulties along the way, of the hot sweat all over, plus the bonus feeling of being a bit fitter than you were yesterday. Likely, I'll make this a twice-a-month event to see how much I can improve myself by the end of the summer. Maaaybe invite people along.